Benjamin Allen's Modern Tales

A Few Words About Breasts

Abi is on antibiotics because the doctor dropped her skull on the floor. The doctor said, “Sorry.“ He said it slipped off his hand during surgery.

Jul 21, 2024 • 

Benjamin Allen

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How Not to Swallow a Cricket

The swimming pool has this little robot that, doesn’t matter how much pizza you had the night before, the wee guy will never fat-shame you.

Jul 7, 2024 • 

Benjamin Allen

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June 2024

Airport Cinderella

Essay My wife stands by the airport security check leaning over a queue of trays rolling in front of her.

Jun 14, 2024 • 

Benjamin Allen

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July 2023

A Lizard With No Tail

The black mole growing in her head. The idea that the more birthdays you collect, the more likely life will hide behind a corner, stick a leg out and…

Jul 9, 2023 • 

Benjamin Allen

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December 2022

Who's That on TV?

A woman with her hair dyed half blond half blood, she shuts the kitchen door and says, “They can hear us.” With one finger tapping her nose she says…

Dec 5, 2022 • 

Benjamin Allen

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November 2022

8 Pool Ball

Anything oily or creamy on my body makes me wanna rip my skin off. Even now I’m growing older with no moisturiser in my bathroom cabinet. I like my skin…

Nov 6, 2022 • 

Benjamin Allen

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February 2022

Hello, Who’s This?

If we were friends when we were kids, you probably received one of those phone calls. The landline phone rang, you picked up and couldn’t hear a thing…

Feb 20, 2022 • 

Benjamin Allen

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Give Me Vitamin C

The delivery guy will drop forty-seven oranges and twenty-five clementines by the front door. He’ll step back a few meters and I’ll drag everything…

Feb 16, 2022 • 

Benjamin Allen

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January 2022

One of Those Persons Who Should Never Die

My mother and her brothers, they all stay in touch with the usual phone call on Christmas making sure no one is dying or checking if anyone got married.

Jan 2, 2022 • 

Benjamin Allen

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December 2021

Pins and Needles

There’s always a sense of relief in hospitals. No matter how miserable you are feeling, two seats away there’s always someone who looks much worse.

Dec 31, 2021 • 

Benjamin Allen

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New Year’s Eve 20-Something

Injuries aside, my life was going as scheduled. Everything was great. Until it was not.

Dec 30, 2021 • 

Benjamin Allen

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The Window, the Slot Machine, My Uncle and the German I Can’t Speak

After all the times I’ve been in Germany, I could never learn a single word except for that one sentence.

Dec 28, 2021 • 

Benjamin Allen

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